Its such an interesting thing to say right? “Let me tell you why I love this photo of me” sounds like Im pretty in love with myself, but its actually goes much deeper then the aesthetics of the photo. See when my friends Erich and Amy McVey said they were in town and wanted to come snap a few shots I started to dread the shoot that instance. Thoughts of all the missed days at the gym and extra sweets I had consumed lately danced in my head. I thought “I not ready to have my picture taken!” But I remembered a promise I made to myself last year at my grandmother’s funeral. You see at the funeral we played a picture slideshow of my grandmother’s life and what I noticed was that my Grandma Joan was never camera shy. She would practically jump into every shot no matter what she was wearing or if she looked “ready”.. That day I made a decision that I dont have to be ready or perfect to step in front of a camera.
There are 3 things about this photo that I love #1 the shirt I am wearing. Its a vintage wrangler shirt I bought at a thrift store about 8 years ago. Thrift shopping is one of my favorite things to do and it brings me back to that time in my life when I was single, curious, a little scared and very alone. So much has changed since I bought that shirt, but I’m still the same girl wondering around this big city. #2 The veins in my hands. I have ALWAYS been so embarrassed about the veins and size of my hands.. I was a waitress for years and I could carry so many drinks at once and customers would always comment on how big my hands were.. It actually has just always been a thing. But today I am so proud of my manhands and veins that seems to always be very noticeable its unique and I decided I like it. #3 I am alone in this photo. At this particular time in my life I am growing as a photographer and as a woman and I am realizing that as much as I may think I need someone else or something else to make me feel secure or be my cheerleader or just assure me I can actually do that for myself. It is amazing to have friends and partners to do it for you as well but I am realizing that most importantly I have to do it for myself first. We need to be our own best friends first before we can give our full self to someone else.